Making the Decision – Choosing a Senior’s Facility

by Betty-Anne Christie

In preparing to write an article about helping your parents choose a Retirement Residence or an Assisted Living Residence, I thought I should consult with the real experts so I spoke with several residents living in a few different residences. I asked each of them this question: "What advice would you give me if I was helping my mom find a place like this?" I got a great deal of very good advice from people who had actually been through the process of coming to terms with the need to move out of their homes, and been through the process of finding a place that would meet their needs. Here are the stories of their experience and some of advice they passed along to me.

Herb's Story

Herb has been living in the Retirement Residence for just about four years now. Here's what he had to say.

"I have to give my daughter credit. I've been a widower for 10 years, kind of set in my ways I guess. I knew I had to move, but my daughter didn't rush me. She understood it was my life, and where I was moving had to be my decision.

She got me started by getting a copy of the local Seniors Housing Directory that provides information on all the types of seniors places. We narrowed down the places to take a look at by looking at location, the services they provided and the monthly rent. My daughter phoned four of the places and set up an appointment to go and look.

My advice is when you are planning to go looking - make a list of questions beforehand so that you can compare - we took our list in, and wrote down the answers. If they don't want to take the time to answer your questions you probably don't want to live there. When you go to look at a place you have to use all of your senses. Look around and see what is happening. Are residents out socializing with one another, is the place clean and well maintained, how are staff interacting with each other and the residents? At each of the places we looked at, we asked for the Residents' Handbook and looked at the activities calendar and the menu. If the Residents' Handbook was full of rigid rules, we were very wary.

Some of the places we looked at were newer than this one, and some had bigger suites, but the thing that sold me on this place was the laughter. Staff and residents were busy having fun. One of the other things this place had that others didn't was flexibility. I can fix my own breakfast in my suite, so I don't have to go down to the dinning room. The menus always have some choices too - which is real nice. The other thing is that they had transportation - I had to give up driving, so it's nice to be able to go on some of the outings.

I'm happy here, I'm glad my daughter didn't rush me into anything, and I made my own choice."

Alice and Fred's Story as told by their daughter

I also spoke with Alice and her daughter Bernice. Alice and her husband live in a "campus" which is a Retirement Residence that is attached to an Assisted Living facility. Alice lives in an apartment in the Retirement Residence and her husband, Fred who has dementia, lives in the Assisted Living facility. Here's what Bernice told me.

"Mom was really completely worn out and becoming depressed from looking after Dad at home. Mom didn't want to be separated from Dad, but she knew that they could not go on with Dad's memory getting worse and worse. We spoke to Dad's doctor and he referred us to Home Care. The Home Care nurses got things underway.

Mom and Dad moved in here six months ago, and Mom is nearly back to her old self. This place has been a god-send. My Dad gets the care he needs and he and Mom can still spend time together. Mom still does many wonderful things for my Dad, and the staff are great about understanding that she wants to continue to be involved, but they take over when she gets tired.

I wish we had asked for help sooner - that's my advice, get help sooner rather than later."

Jessie's Story

Finally I spoke with Jessie who has lived in Assisted Living for several years. Jessie has Parkinson's disease and needs help with managing daily personal routines. Here's what advice Jessie had to offer me.

"I can certainly give you some advice because I learned the hard way. I fought moving out of my home to the end, then I landed in hospital and was told I couldn't go home. My family came out from the east and picked a retirement residence in pretty quick order. It was okay for a while - nice enough, but pretty soon I needed more help and every time I needed help with something else they added another charge to my monthly bill. Extra charges began to mount up. First was to do my laundry, next was to help me open my pill bottles, next was to help me get into my shower - on and on it went.

After only two years I was told that I was "too high needs" for their place and I would have to move. I had been in my home for 25 years, and now in two years I had to move twice. I wasn't about to let that happen again.

The second time I had to look for a place, I was much wiser. This time I did my homework. I was worried that I would run out of money or have to move again. When I came to see this place they told me all about the services and the prices. They had a full-disclosure policy - which means they tell you all about the cost. They also went through all of the services they can provide. Right now I can manage with the staff coming in at scheduled times to help me, but I wanted to find somewhere I can stay if the day comes that I need to call the staff for help. This place has staff on round the clock that can help if needed. That gives me a great deal of peace of mind.

My advice to you if you're looking for a place, is to find a place you can stay if your needs change, and find out the costs of additional services. In other words, find out exactly what you are signing up for - it's buyer beware."

So that's the advice of the real experts. Here are a few pieces of advice I would like to add:

• Make sure you are very clear about the rights of residents. Every facility should have a written "Resident Bill of Rights" and a handbook explaining these rights and all of the policies of the facility which affect residents.
• Costs for accommodation and services must be clearly laid out in the Resident Agreement. Look carefully at Agreements for additional charges for services - these can add up quickly.
• Read agreements carefully for what the resident must provide and what is provided by the facility. For example, many residences have a transportation van, but it may not be available for taking residents to appointments.
• Ask about staffing. Is staff on site 24 hours per day and are they certified to deal with emergencies and personal needs?
• Does the facility have a staff member who has the responsibility of organizing social opportunities for the residents? Take a look at the Activities Calendar - is it varied and interesting and are there scheduled activities on week-ends and in the evening?
• Ask about the meals and snacks. Menus should offer some choice, for example, two entrée choices. Menu cycles should be no less than six weeks before meals are repeated.

Finally, the best advice I have to offer is to watch and listen to the staff and residents carefully as you tour a residence with your Mom or Dad. The building you are touring may have a gorgeous dining room, a beautiful view, and a fantastic theatre room, but it's really not those things that will be the key to how content your parents will be. Instead it is the people, the staff and residents, that make seniors' housing a home instead of a facility.

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