How to Handle Negative Comments in Social Media

by Leesa Barnes

Uh oh! Someone posted something negative about you in a discussion forum, on Facebook or in your blog comments. This is exactly what happened to me this week. For 4 days, some individuals on a podcasting discussion list (with close to 2500 members) were questioning my expertise. Although a few people who worked with me in the past vouched for me, their voices were small compared to the naysayers. Four days after the first negative post appeared on the discussion list, everyone's happy. What did I do to diffuse the situation? Here are some tips you can use if you find yourself having to deal with negative comments in social media.

1. Show up. It's easy just to ignore a negative comment, but your absence only helps fan the flames. On the podcasting discussion list, some individuals were bashing me and my credentials. I replied to the first set of comments, but it took 2 days for it to appear on the list because the moderator had to approve it. Once my post was finally approved, my presence helped to soften the responses. People were being so nice to me that one of the naysayers offered to buy me a drink the next time we're at the same conference together. So, be visible. Don't be tempted to hide. Being present takes the sting out the mean comments and turns naysayers into supporters.
2. Find the root issue. It's tempting to look at every word and take issue with every sentence. I would recommend that you identify the central problem the person is complaining about and address that instead. On the podcasters discussion list, people were questioning my expertise because I hadn't produced my own podcast in over a year. While the other comments posted were just plain silly (and mean), I focused on the main complaint. Doing so gave me the chance to clear the air in a succinct and polite way.
3. Respond with kindness. You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Although it's tempting to react in anger, I recommend that you take the high road and respond with kindness. Because my responses did not appear on the discussion list right away, I needed to find a different way to be heard and defend myself. I wrote a lengthy and combative reaction on my blog. Most of the replies on my blog were supportive, but I did receive a couple anonymous ones that were mean and nasty. My friend, Peter O'Connell, reminded me that whatever I manifest, that's what I'll get more of. In hindsight, I should've waited for my comments to be approved. The reply I wrote on the discussion list wasn't combative. Once those on the discussion list saw my reply, they responded in a sympathetic and supportive way. Someone even went as far as to list other podcasting experts who haven't published their own podcasts in quite some time to show that I'm not the only one. Respond out of kindness and not out of anger when someone posts something negative about you. You'll be shocked by the reaction.
4. Thank the person for his or her feedback. Doing so makes the complainer feel acknowledged and appreciated. On the discussion list, I thanked everyone for highlighting a hole in my marketing strategy. I quickly added an item to my to do list to create a page filled with client podcasts I have worked on. I need to show evidence that I'm still in the podcasting trenches, and I thanked those on the discussion list for helping me see that.

Because of my response, the thread that started 4 days earlier filled with mean comments directed at me, quickly fizzled out. Suddenly, bashing one of the nicest people on the list didn't seem fun anymore. I showed up, addressed the root issue, wasn't combative and thanked everyone for their comments. Try this approach the next time someone hits you with negativity.

© 2008 Leesa R. Barnes. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

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